So a life in which you feel comfortable.
A life where you do the things you want.
A life, when you look back sometime, as your meaningful contribution to the whole here.
One thing in advance: a lot of money and always only hard work is definitely not part of it.
That’s what Bronnie Ware found out when she asked the dying man what you most regret in her life. There were 5 things:
1. “I wish I had the courage to live my own life.”
2. “I wish I had not worked so much.”
3. “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.”
4. “I wish I had maintained contact with my friends.”
5. “I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.”
Nothing with bungee jump, a Tesla model S or a villa on the outskirts or what else on the bucket list of many people likes. Or his dream partner not to be met. Or always have the latest iPhone the next day already had. Or to be the first in the office in the morning and the last in the evening. From a distance, all these things do not count.
This means, of course, that the many instructions from online marketers how to go with just a few hours of work millionaire will go astray. None of the people at the end of their lives regretted not having earned more money. This could soothe and relieve you.
If you have believed that you are more lucky and want more money, you are in the wrong place. Like Mulla Nasruddin (a fairytale figure with a migration background) in this Sufi story:
Mullah Nasruddin was found one night by a policeman. Nasruddin knelt by the street lantern near his house, looking for something.
“What are you looking for so late at night?” The policeman asked.
“Oh, I’ve lost my key and can not get into the house without him,” Nasruddin replied.
The policeman also knelt on the ground, so they both searched the area around the street lantern. But they could find nothing.
After a while, the policeman asked, “Are you sure you lost the key under the lantern?”
“No, actually I lost it there behind the shrubs,” Nasruddin replied.
“But why are you looking for him here?”
“… Because it is brighter here.”
For a successful life it is therefore less important to look more hectic, but to look for the right place. It is perhaps more important to be less dependent on something and to leave something rather than supposedly seek to reach missingness with all its might.
Here are 4 recommendations with which you could stop to lead a successful life (whatever you mean).
1. Stop dealing with your body badly
The trend can be observed in all societies on Earth: As soon as people are doing better economically, you begin to live unhealthy. They become overweight, eat more junk food, eat more meat – and move less because they cover many paths they used to walk on foot.
Your body is the basis of everything. Treat him well. It is irreplaceable for a successful life in which you feel comfortable. The recipe for this is old and quite simple. You only need two things:
A healthy diet.
I will not give any recommendations for the right diet or the optimal exercise program. Simply because it does not exist. General recommendations can be a first guide. But as always in life, you can only find out what suits you well.
So, what would be a first step in treating your body better?
2. Stop living according to the expectations of other people.
When I did not know what to do after the middle maturity, my parents advised me to make a bank account. “This is something solid, since you always have work,” was their reasoning. I listened to them and was quite good at them, but after a year as a bank clerk I was dying to death and hired as a computer operator at IBM. My parents were horrified.
Even when I announced at IBM after a year, I was reluctant to leave. And so it was with the advertising agency. When I told my then wife that I was going to be an insurance representative, she did not speak to me for a week. Read here my other professional situations.
This means that if you want to shape and live your life, you will always have to disappoint others.
Parents, partners, bosses, employees, friends – maybe even yourself, because you no longer want to run after your demands. To disappoint others can be unpleasant, especially if you are afraid of conflicts and do much to be loved by others. But you are also often disappointed by others – and survive this also.
So, think of your death bed more often. What kind of expectation could you make to be buried so that you will not regret?
3. Stop being justified
Justifications usually have the function of deferring a perceived fault – to other people or the popular circumstances. But we are responsible for our actions – as well as our mistakes. Therefore, an explanation is always better than justification:
“The error arose because I received wrong numbers. I can do nothing for that. “(Justification)
“The error arose because I took over the delivered figures unchecked. I will correct my mistake. “(Explanation)
Sometimes a justification should also save us from apologizing. Through the justification, we try to explain an action that we believe to be an alternative. It should convince the others that we are right – we “make” our right ourselves.
But the other one will mostly see our escape attempt as a maneuver and feel something is wrong. With an apology we show that we have made a mistake and regret the consequences. It’s best to say “I’m sorry.” And not with “Please excuse me,” or even worse: “You have to apologize.”
To justify yourself does not feel good, because you stand with your back on the wall. It weakens you because you know that you want to get out. And that will cost you respect. Also your own.
So, stop being justified.
4. Stop believing in miracles
Amazingly many people believe in miracles. People hope for a positive change in a difficult situation:
An airline passenger blesses oneself at the landing.
Millions of pilgrims to Lourdes or the Easter mass to Rome.
Many patients and their doctors – believe in homeopathy.
Parents speak of the guardian angel, if your child happily survived an accident.
Voters are hoping to improve their life situation by populist candidates.
Lotto players hope for the big win – and that all turns for the better.
Overweight hope by the new diet on the miracle “Take off in your sleep”.
The SPD dreams with Martin Schulz of the chancellorship.
The miracle faith wants to sweeten us two bitter life laws:
That we can not affect much in life or even control.
And that chance knows no justice.
What has to do with the successful life?
Now, overnight success is a myth. Talent also not spared one that only persistent practice leads to success. Even the “miracle child” Mozart piano lessons had many years before he wrote his masterpieces.
But practice alone is not enough even as critics of the 10,000-hour rule have found. There also genetic factors and factor lead to passion.
March 22, 2017