If you’ve been thinking of making a major change in your life but the fear of failure is holding you back, I really think you’re gonna love this post.
This question is from Regani who writes: “Hi, I’m 32, recently divorced, and a mother of a wonderful 3 and a half year old boy. I’ve been working in the health insurance field for over 5 years now. I work alongside nurses and hearing them talk about their cases and reviewing charts has made me want to go into the field of nursing. The biggest thing that’s holding me back is fear of failure. I’m afraid I won’t have the motivation to keep up with studying and would fail at my classes. I’m hoping that you can guide me in the right direction. Thank you for all you do.”
This is a great question. You know, fear of failure is one of the most common, if not the biggest dream killers of all time. So you are not alone, my friend. But if you’re serious about turning this beautiful dream into a reality, which I think you are, there are 2 things that I want you to do.
Number one, follow your fear. Look, it’s totally ok to be afraid. All it means is you’re about to do something really brave and important to you. It means that you’re about to do something that’s going to force you to grow as a human.
So don’t resist it. I want you to embrace it. I want you to follow it. Because here’s the thing that most people don’t realize, fear is often instructive and it is directive. Really. It’s like a GPS for our souls want us to go. If you haven’t seen this episode right over here, my friend, I want you to watch it right after this one.
Let’s move on and talk about your fear of failure, which is honestly something that we can neutralize right now. Because I guarantee this, you will have stumbles and missteps. I mean, all of us do. We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. But here’s the truth, you can only truly fail if you stop trying, if you stop growing, if you stop learning. So I want to invite you to use a little mantra to help free yourself from this fear of failure. This is something I use in my life every single day and it goes like this: I win or I learn, but I never lose. In other words, no matter what happens, no matter what goes down, what mistakes you make, you can always choose to get back up, to learn something from it, to get stronger, to move ahead, whatever that may look like.
Nothing has to take you down unless you let it.
Number two is work your why. So if you really want to make this career change happen, and I know you can do this, Regani has got to get emotionally connected to why this dream is important to you. She’s got to keep it front and center every single day because, as you know, making this happen, it’s just not going to be easy. I mean, nothing that’s worth it ever is. But if you stay really present to the emotional heart based reasons why this change is so important to you, you are going to find the strength to cross that finish line. I guarantee it.
Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to take out a piece of paper and write down all of the reasons why this is important and what impact becoming a nurse is going to have on yourself, is going to have on your son, is going to have on the patients you take care of? I mean, think about this: what is this going to mean to your family?
What’s it gonna mean emotionally and financially and spiritually? Who are you going to become by making this a reality?
When I sat down and I was thinking about this for you, I actually imagined you might say things like “I’ll become more focused, I’ll become more resilient, I’ll become a better role model for my son, I’ll become a woman who’s even more confident and more capable, I’ll become a woman who is using my heart and my gifts and my talents and skills to make a difference to others.” And I bet one of your big why’s, Regani, is your son. So I want you to use that leverage on yourself, get a beautiful picture of him, and put it right on your list of why’s, and I want you to look at that list and his picture every single day. Look at it when you’re setting up your schedule to take your classes, look at it whenever things get really hard and difficult and you’re tired and you want to quit. Because I’ve gotta tell you, your son is learning so much from you right now.
He’s learning it energetically and emotionally, and you’re going to teach him either by example to be brave and go for your dreams or you’re going to teach him to let fear win. Now, I know this is a really big choice, Regani. You can’t make this lightly. And if I could leave you with anything today it would be this quote from Nelson Mandela and, yes, it’s a tweetable. May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. That was my A to your Q, Regani, I really, really hope it helps. And now I would love to hear from you. I want you to tell me, is there some dream that you’ve been putting off because you’re afraid that you might lose motivation or somehow let yourself down? I think all of us have that, right? Well, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to tell me one big emotional heart centered why that could actually help you keep going.
February 14, 2017